It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
