Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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