i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
