Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize