I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
The ass gains better be worth it
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
