dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
