That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
