We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
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