Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
