I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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