I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
