trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
