I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
lets start a swedish sibling band together
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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