so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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