whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
