and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
