Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
