I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
