Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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