i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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