47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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