I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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