just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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