I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
