The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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