you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
NoShamevember. You game?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
