There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
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