We're like a lot better than the average bears
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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