I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
