She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize