i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
