I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize