The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
