i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
