I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
