Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
that's an acceptable place to lick
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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