So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
