I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
