Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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