Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
