we have pet lesbian snakes
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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