would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
