like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
