She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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