call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
