What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
