he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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