you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Come on in and take your pants off
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