i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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