From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
