so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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