I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
