ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
