BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I got inside last night via doggy door
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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