i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize