You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I AM VODKA MAN
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
