wat bout pragnant strippers??
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
