I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
