After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
