u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
