p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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