I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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