my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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