i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
