so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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