you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
