THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize