fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
