I can tuck mytits in my pants
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
