I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
