Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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