No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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