Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize