Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
